Oasis Magazine Articles

The Life Coach: See the Huge Possibility in Your Life

By Julie-ann Odell



In our first issue of The Life Coach, appropriately starting in the month containing Valentine’s Day, we take a look at a very important and much forgotten aspect of love: Self Love. 

We become so focused on showing our love for others that we forget to remember that love first starts within. How often do we take the time to journey inside ourselves and find out who truly lives there and what makes us happy or sad and where did all of those feelings begin. 

We’ve come into this world as beautiful babies with clean emotional slates and innocent minds, but there are various factors from the time we are born that affect the way we learn to feel about ourselves.  This includes negative emotional patterning in childhood from parents, family, teachers, society and even the media with representations of what success and beauty is supposed to look like. 

We are taught many things in life, not all of them positive; and from the negative emotional lessons, we create limiting beliefs that become part of our values system and determine to a great extent how we live our lives, and what and who we attract into them.  It's a pity that we aren't all given "A User's Manual" for our Emotional Operating System as part of our educational process but unfortunately, until now, it does not exist.  

I recently attended a Louise Hay Teacher's workshop in the United Kingdom and from the 45 participants in the room - consisting of many different ages and cultural backgrounds - not a single person put up their hand when they were asked the question:  "Were you taught as a child how to deal with fear, anger or shame?   And when the same group was asked to look at themselves in a mirror and say:  "I truly and honestly love you" only a few people in the room were able to authentically do so.  It shocked me, and made me realize how important it is to spread awareness around the importance of self-love.

When we live life from a place of denial, we spend much of our time sacrificing ourselves for the needs and wants of others to keep relationships going at any cost, and spend a lot of energy in the story of: "Look what they are doing to me", rather than "Look what I am allowing to happen!" Once we start to see life from the "cause" aspect rather than the "effect" and ask ourselves the question:  “What part of me is allowing this to happen?” and “When did that belief system first begin?”  is when we start to realize that so many of us were conditioned to believe that we are not worthy of healthy, happy and loving lives. 

When we gain awareness around the past and its patterns and limiting belief systems, we can start to see that we are truly deserving of love, happiness and success.  We can learn to forgive and accept ourselves and others, change our way of thinking and create empowering belief systems.  Once we can learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we can accept love from others in a very different way.   We attract enhancing relationships into our lives, our passion is ignited and we can finally see huge possibilities for our future unfold.

5 Steps to Loving Yourself

Replace self-criticism with praise
:. Refuse to criticise yourself, and accept yourself as you are for the moment.  When you criticise yourself, you break your inner spirit.  Learn to appreciate and praise yourself for even the smallest of achievements.

Be kind to your mind:   Are you disempowering yourself with negative thinking and fears?  If so, evict the intruder and switch your thoughts to a mental image that gives you pleasure.  Make positive thinking a habit.

Be your own best friend:  Be aware of negative self talk.  When you find yourself thinking disempowering thoughts about yourself, send the thoughts away and replace them with a powerful, positive affirmation. 

Spend quality time with yourself: Read personal growth, and self-help books.  Listen to positive affirmations and guided visualizations.  Learn to meditate.

Focus on personal growth: Attend empowering workshops.  Commit to learning something new.  Surround yourself with positive people who have an uplifting spirit and encourage you to be your best.   





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